I'm not a prude. I enjoy alcohol, food and sex. My freak level with sex would surprise anyone who knows me outside the bedroom, and anyone who knows me knows my appetites for food and alcohol. I kicked the drug habit thirty years ago, but there was a time that the only thing that stopped me  from trying any drug was if it went into a needle. As long as I could snort, smoke, lick or eat a drug, I would try anything. But those needles were the dividing line between me and someone with a drug problem. Warped thinking, huh?

I say this because over the last twenty years I have watched out society devolve slowly but surely. History repeats itself and it's also cyclical. I came to realize long ago that the reason history repeats itself is because people are people, no matter what race, nationality or religion they are, where they live, or in what era they lived. Human nature remains the same.

I posit this theory: we, as a society, are heading directly down the same paths that led to the collapse of the Roman Empire. At one time, Rome was the dominating political, social and religious power in the world. Not long ago, so was the United States. A few bad presidents, some terrible congressmen and senators, some failed economic plans and a general lack of care about the way things were heading led to where we are today. We are no longer respected on the world stage. We are barely even feared.

We demand instant gratification. We want money, power, authority, the big office, the nice car, the expensive house in the nouveau riche neighborhood, paying three grand a month on a $600,000 McMansion. We have children not to procreate but to complete the package of the successful middle-class consumer; they are marked off the checklist of what we need to prove success.

We have somehow blurred the lines of what constitutes sex, love and cheating. Young girls today believe that as long as they have anal sex and not vaginal sex, they are virgins. In the strictest sense of the word, yes, if the hymen is intact, they are vaginal virgins. But taking a dick in the ass hardly equates to purity in my book. Many younger people have no problem with having sex with someone other than their chosen partner. They have managed to differentiate between "sex" and "love." In other words, if they hook up with someone and fuck, there really isn't anything wrong with that because there are no emotions to tangle things up. I don't understand that. If I'm in a relationship with a woman and my dick is out of my pants when a woman other than my wife is in the room, I have cheated. People don't see it like that.

The Romans were famous for their unbridled, uninhibited sexual liaisons. From what I understand, they didn't concern themselves if a partner was male or female, and in many cases even human! If there was a hole that could be filled, fill it! Young, old, male, goat, female, cow...if it was receptive, take it. If not, take it anyway.

The Romans loved the carnage that took place at the Coliseum. Watching men battle each other to death was considered prime entertainment. When that wasn't enough, Caligula introduced lions and tigers...more blood....more gore...more exciting. Well, I remember when boxing was just two guys with gloves and mouth guards fighting under the scrutiny of a referee and a sanctioning body. Fights ended when there was a knockout or one of the fighters clearly could no longer defend himself and it became slaughter. Now we have "mixed martial arts." No longer happy with just punching someone's lights out, now we include martial arts - kickboxing, karate and tae kwan do to go along with the traditional fist fighting. Profuse bleeding is the only thing that stops the fight.

Where else can this go? Gluttony really isn't an issue...yet. People are so concerned about putting perfect foods into themselves that this might never rear its ugly head again. But I still maintain that we are steadily leaving civility behind and heading to a hedonistic, morally abject society that will eventually collapse on itself. Just like the Roman Empire did. Think about it. 

I'm a cynic and a smartass. I can be cruel and heartless in some of the things I say and do, and especially think to myself. That eased off about six years ago.

Many was the time I'd go to Wal Mart or a grocery store and I'd see a someone who appeared to be completely normal using one of those electric shopping carts. My immediate thought was, "Fat lazy fucker. Too lazy too walk." Well, over the course of my fiftieth year on earth, I began to experience some intense and inexplicable pain throughout my body. I had trouble standing for long periods of time, steps were becoming very difficult to ascend and descend and my hands hurt more and more. Eventually the pain in my legs got bad enough that I went to a doctor. Naturally a series of tests ensued and after a few weeks it was determined that I suffered from psoriatic arthritis. It wasn't bad enough to just have the ugly skin patches...no...now I had to deal with this disease attacking my joints from the inside.

I won't go into a lot of detail, but the arthritis is caused by psoriasis, the famous skin disease of "heartbreak of psoriasis" fame. I had no idea that it causes arthritis too. But it does, and it's painful. Very quickly I changed my tune at stores when I saw people using those carts. I've used one only once in the six years since my diagnosis. I try not to use them because I can lean on the cart for support. However, I've been grocery shopping and finished in a sweat because it took so much effort for me to move.


So I guess my point is that one shouldn't be so quick to make fun. You have no idea what a person is going through. To look at me, you'd never know that I was in pain. You don't know how much effort it takes just to get out of a car. Or to walk up stairs. You'd never know that I can never get comfortable lying in bed because I move my legs so much trying to find a comfortable position.

Take it easy folks. There are a lot of folks out there who suffer in silence. Try saying a prayer for them instead of thinking how lazy they are.

Today is November 3, 2015...barely into the month. Once Halloween was over - and the accompanying mania of all things pumpkin flavored - I noticed that the Christmas movies are starting to run on the cable channels. And two weeks ago...two full weeks before Halloween I was in my favorite plant store/nursery and was bombarded with artificial Christmas trees and all things Christmas related. The temperature outside was well above seventy degrees. I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. And yet there it all stood: Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.

One might surmise that I have a problem with this. And one would be correct. It didn't used to be this way. The Christmas season began the day after Thanksgiving and ended January 2 of the new year. The weekend after Thanksgiving wasn't spent sitting in front of stores in the middle of the night waiting for bargains. It was spent shopping for and decorating the tree. And eating leftovers. In fact, I can't recall when the term "Black Friday" came into existence. As long as the New Year fell on a weekend, we took the second day to dismantle the tree and put things away for next year. If it didn't fall on a weekend, the first full weekend of the new year was used for that. And the season was over.

It was simpler. There was no pressure to find the best deal. People didn't fight in parking lots so as to acquire a position one person closer to the front door of the store. No lotteries for sale items. None of that. And people were much, much less stressed about the holidays.

I see so many commercials that talk about finding the right gift for someone, and how it's so important to make that person happy. Hey...if I buy you a gift and you don't like it, exchange it. You won't hurt my feelings. But I'm not going to lose sleep over whether I bought you the perfect gift either.

Retailers have created this monster. Each upcoming holiday seems to have a two-month lead-in when it comes to buying things. The stores will be putting away the Christmas stuff at the same time they're bringing out the stuff for Valentine's Day. And then two months before Easter, that stuff comes out as the Valentine's Day stuff goes back. It's ridiculous.

I like to think that eventually everything will have started early enough so that it will keep moving earlier and earlier on the calendar and then, for one year, all of the holidays and their "seasons" will end up on the right days. It will take a while and I might not live to see it, but I really hope it happens.

How does one become a life coach? A life coach is a very real thing and I'm sure it's a lucrative gig if you can pull it off. From what I've seen on TV (Full disclosure: that's my only source for research on this topic.), a life coach basically is someone who tells you what to do or not do. Of course, there's some new age thinking and esoteric platitudes that go along with the advice, but it really boils down to simple common sense.

Q: Should I go out with a guy I met in a chat room?

LCA: Do you feel safe doing so? Do you feel comfortable talking to him in person. Remember...a chat room is different than sitting across from each other over dinner. You need to answer these questions before deciding.

Q: Should I buy a new Lexus?

LCA: Why do you want a new car? Do you need a new car? Are you able to afford a luxury car? Could you get by with a less expensive car?

 ***

Very general examples to be sure, but that's about what it boils down to. Does someone really need to pay someone to answer basic questions that one should be asking oneself anyway?

Another occupation that puzzles me is "lifestyle expert." What sort of background does one need in order to be a lifestyle expert? I don't recall seeing any subjects pertaining to this field when I was in college, and I would think that if one wants to become an expert on something he or she should at least be educated at the college level. After all, where does the term "expert" come from? Something else that puzzles me about this field is that these experts are generally pretty young...younger thirty years old. How does one become a bona fide expert at such a young age? How many lifestyles can a person study and analyze in just a few years? My idea of an expert is one who has immersed himself into the field, lived it, breathed it, and after many years has gleaned the most important factors from that lifestyle to pass on to others. I don't see that being possible from someone who is a mere decade away from legal voting age.

These questions trouble me so. Perhaps I should find a life coach and discuss them. Oh, Lord, I need some guidance!!!

I watch a lot of TV. I'm unemployed right now, so my viewing actually has increased over the last few weeks. Also, I don't sleep well and I'm up at least three times throughout the night. I see a lot of commercials. There are some amazing commercials on TV right now, but for the most part, they suck. There are a few things that piss me off about commercials, though.

1. I can't stand precocious children. 
2. I hate the way men are portrayed as bumbling fools. 
3. I get very angry with the way women are always shown as wise, caring and knowing what to do in all situations. 

There are other things that bother me, but I'll leave it with that list. I play a little game with commercials that feature some product that's "not available in stores." I try to guess the price first, and then I try to guess if they're going to "double the offer" or "make a payment" for me when it comes to products that require "easy payments" applied to my credit card.

When it comes to prices, I'm right about 90% of the time. And when it comes to doubling the offer or making that payment, I'm right almost every time. The thing that I find humorous is that people fall for the double offer, as long as they "pay separate shipping and handling." Generally S&H charges on these commercials is from $7.99 to $9.99 per order. Hmmm...one has to wonder if that doesn't cover the cost of that free one, plus a little profit for the company. Do people really think they're getting that good of a deal? Are they so naive that they think the company is actually giving them a good deal? You can be certain that the extra payment the company is making was factored into the price to be eliminated without beginning to affect the profit earned on the product. 

What is the big deal about 3D? My only experience with 3D was at least twenty years ago when I rented a porn video that was in 3D. I don't know what I was expecting, but I remember being sorely disappointed. Since then, despite a rather generous but sporadic number of offerings in mainstream cinema, I have never seen another thing in 3D.

Lately, though, it seems that there has been a resurgence in the popularity of this genre. But it's not limited to movies, although the new Charlie Brown movie is getting a great deal of pre-release advertising. One of the hottest things in the 3D arsenal is the 3D printer. Now, I have no idea how this works or why one would need it. I assume that the detail in whatever is being printed would be considerably clearer and I'm certain that it wouldn't be used for a Word document. I saw a 3D printer on sale at a Barnes & Noble bookstore yesterday. It was more than three hundred dollars, and I can't imagine what your average book customer would need with such a contraption.

Who would use one of these? It can't be the average homeowner or even small business owner. Perhaps it has some value in scientific applications, but I have no idea. I guess it's another one of those things that keeps me in the dark ages. Heck, I just got my first cell phone in July of this year. I like to try to stay current on things, but this 3D thing really has me perplexed.

I will never understand the appeal of yard sales or garage sales. It can be big business, and I confess to having had a yard sale many years ago when I was still married. Of course, I was married to a woman who liked to go to yard sales. I also confess that we made about $180 that day. We had mostly used children's clothes and they sold very well. And that's what brings me to my point about yard sales.

I call them White Trash Department Stores. There's usually something for everyone: clothes, furniture, small appliances, tools, toys, etc. Folks my age will remember the old department store chains of WT Grant and Woolworth's as stores that had a small selection of pretty much everything at very low prices. Some people even called them "the 5 & 10" or the "five and dime" to denote the low prices: a nickel or a dime.

Every neighborhood in the country has a house hosting a yard sale on any given Saturday. People put ads in the paper and the ads are analyzed by the yard sale crowd who will plan an entire Saturday around going from yard sale to yard sale based on one neighborhood's proximity to another, thus enhancing the economic practicality of driving around all day buying junk.

Junk. That's all it is to me. I've heard the line, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I never understood that. Trash is trash. In other words, if it's not good enough for you to keep, why in the hell would I want it? What am I going to do with this item that will make it better than it was for you? And if that is possible, why didn't you do it and not sell it? I just don't need other people's shit in my house. If you don't want it or need it anymore, trash it. Don't clog up my neighborhood's streets with  cars parked haphazardly just to find a used toaster for a dime.

How did the show "Hogan's Heroes" ever get on television? This late-60s piece of shit was somehow popular enough with American audiences to enjoy a run of several years. It was about prisoners of war who were held by the Nazis during World War II. And it was a comedy. Sadly, my parents thought the show was funny, and thus, it was on the list of shows we watched weekly.

 All of the German officers spoke English, of course, but with an accent (so we'd know they're German), and the prisoners were a cross-section of what I suppose were the Allies: a French guy, a British guy, a black guy, an all-American boy, and Hogan the wise-cracking sly man in charge of the others. Each had a particular skill: cooking, code cracking, inventing cool weapons, communications, etc. Underneath the barracks that housed them was a series of tunnels that gave the prisoners full access to the entire prison camp, and even provided them with a way to get out of the camp entirely if they needed to. Of course, they always came back because they had important work to do, but the option was there. The barracks were immaculately clean, and featured wooden furniture and even a radio. Aided by bumbling and clueless Nazi officers and soldiers, this ragtag group of misfits seemingly helped to end the war sooner.

I find this show to be sickening. Disgusting. And so stupid that it barely deserves mention other than on this blog (to give me something to bitch about). And frankly, it's insulting and a slap in the face of the men and women who actually did live (albeit very briefly) and die in the actual German prison camps during World War II.

In high school, I had the opportunity to tour Dachau, one of the worst of the bunch. There was no furniture. The barracks were clean but only because the prisoners were beaten into submission and forced to clean them. Bunk beds were stacked ten or twelve high, assembled in rows, actually warehousing the prisoners. There was no heat. The real prisoners weren't allowed to keep their uniforms, winter coats or hats like on the show. They certainly weren't allowed to smoke cigarettes as were some of the "heroes." And there was no food being surreptitiously cooked either. These real prisoners were on the brink of death from the moment they got off the trains that brought them there against their will. Their chances of survival were minuscule. How could anyone think that this would make a good television show, and a comedy at that? How could people watch it for three or more years? Why is it in reruns forty years later?

This show makes my blood boil. It should be taken off the air and if anyone complains about it, they should be shown video from the real prison camps for about 24 hours and see what it was really like. My guess is that they would share the same sentiments I do.

 

 Locally owned and operated. That statement pisses me off. I can understand telling folks that a business in their neighborhood is owned by people who live nearby. It makes for a homier feel and compels prospective customers to support their neighbors' businesses.

It's "locally operated" that bothers me. Think about it. Unless it's run by remote control, it has to be locally operated. Who else could run it if it wasn't someone in the area of the store? Is it run by robots that are controlled by a computer in another state? There is just no way something cannot be locally operated.

GEICO Insurance has billboards posted around town  that read, "Visit a local office near you." Redundant! If it's local, it's near me. If it's near me, it's local. A local dentist invites prospective patients to visit one of his "local offices  right here in Richmond!" As opposed to the local offices in Boise?

I wish people would think a bit more about what they're saying when they come up with this stuff. I understand what they're trying to achieve, but when you stop and think about it, it comes across as stupid.

 

 I just pre-registered to get on a list to pre-lease an apartment in the latest mixed-use development project in my city. I'm pre-excited about it.

Pre- anything? It pisses me off. It's nothing more than something conjured up by advertisers and marketing gurus to appeal to the narcissistic side of consumers by making them think that they are in early on some deal. It's preposterous.

Let's take a look at why. You put your name on a paper to pre-register for something, whether it's an event, a contest, sweepstakes, etc. Okay. Your name is on the paper. Now, let's suppose you want to simply "register" for an event, contest, sweepstakes, etc. the old-fashioned way. How is that done? Why, you put your name on a paper. I don't see a difference, but I'm a bit more pragmatic. I don't feel that I've taken advantage of anyone or somehow received some sort of special treatment by pre-registering...because simply by putting my name on the list, I've already registered.

Pre-lease is another one, and the same breakdown applies. If you sign a lease, you sign a lease. It makes no difference if the building is still in the design stages at the architect. Once you sign a document known as a "lease," you have signed a lease. How did one gain any advantage by signing it before someone else? Each party still has a signed lease.

My generation obviously is different from the one behind me, and of course, each generation will differ no matter which direction you go. We don't need to have any special treatment. Just treat us fairly. Heck, if you can knock a few bucks off of a purchase, that would be great. If you can let me sign up a few days early, that's cool too. But I don't need some hyphenated word to make me feel like I got over on someone just because I did anything "pre." 

Anachronism. It's a word we all learned in tenth-grade English class. If you don't remember learning it, I'm sure you just weren't paying attention that day. For those in that category, an anachronism is something in a story or movie that doesn't belong in the time period of the tale. An easy example would be the Founding Fathers diligently working on the Constitution while writing on laptop computers.

Nostalgia is big in commercials. Sell the emotion associated with the product, not necessarily the product. Just watch any commercial around the holidays. It's not always easy to immediately identify the advertised product. Which brings me to a particular commercial for Hidden Vally Ranch Dressing.

The company goes to great lengths to recreate suburban life in what seems to be the early Sixties. The cars are old, kids are playing in the street, and there's even a milkman, for God's sake! A milkman! Everyone is eating salads and vegetables drenched in Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing. And to ensure that no one runs out, a young boy rides down the street on a bicycle tossing bottles of dressing to all who need it. Those of us who remember when there was a milkman and a young boy delivering newspapers on a bicycle recall how the boy could toss the paper while riding and get it somewhat close to the house of his customer. What I don't recall is the bicycle having pegs on the front and back axles for trick riding - something that didn't come to be until the early Nineties. And worse, in the commercial, the boy is wearing a helmet. Trust me, there were no bicycle helmets in the days when there were milkmen. I'm certain that the advertisers are kowtowing to the lawyers because if they show a child riding an older bicycle and not wearing a helmet, someone, somewhere in the world, will try it, get hurt and sue the company. I get that, but it pisses me off.

Other anachronisms that deserve mention are telephones with a dial, and one of the dumbest of all, the sound of a needle scratching across a record - usually used when an element of shock or surprise is needed. It sort of indicates a grind to a halt. The desired demographic for most products have never used a phone with a dial nor have they had to deal with an old record player with a stylus (needle). Nor have they heard a busy signal on a phone. I find it interesting that advertisers have embraced this tool in their work while in the real world, people don't really know about these things although they have heard about them.

Sustainable. Locavore. Source. Free-range. Grass fed. You know what pisses me off? All of this hipster, New Age bullshit nonsense that is trying to change the English language as we know it. Taking nouns and making them verbs and vice versa. Creating entirely new words. Forcing words on a gullible, naive and often too-stupid public trying to create a new, more dynamic meaning for a word that has been around for centuries.

People won't buy a piece of salmon in a store unless it's "sustainable." How could it not be sustainable? As long as there is one male and one female salmon in the ocean, salmon is sustainable. It might not be sustainable on the level we need for mass consumption, but it is sustainable. And there are fish farms too, so if we consume things in a responsible manner, we'll have them for a long time. The same goes for any plant or animal. When a lumber company cuts down a full-grown tree it plants two new ones. It only makes sense. Two hundred years ago, shortsighted loggers and businessmen did considerable damage, but over the last hundred years or so, we've learned. I can't imagine anyone killing off the last two of their farm animals or any livestock that they sell for income. Once they're gone, they're gone. Hence, you don't sell off your livestock until you have replacements. Therefore, they are sustainable. The only thing that might be considered non-sustainable is coal, oil and natural gas. But technically they are. It just takes millions and millions of years to create more.

Locavore...please. This is a stupid, fabricated word that means one doesn't consume food that was "sourced" from more than a few hundred miles away. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a locavore. All of the grocery stores I go to are within ten minutes of my house, therefore "local."

Free-range and grass fed are feel-good terms made to convince the naive, altruistic consumer that livestock live an easy life and don't "suffer" so that we can eat them. If they're not free-range, they're in a barn. But whatever the case, their entire lives consist of eating, sleeping, shitting, peeing and repeating. I could live like that. Grass fed? I grew up on a farm and my dad had about twenty beef cattle. Each year we butchered two of them. We didn't know how good we had it. Locally sourced, grass-fed sustainable beef!!!! Do you know what it tasted like? Beef. The rock star Ted Nugent once said that if a food is in a grocery store and wrapped in anything, it's not free range. Someone had to catch it to kill it. It's very true, and it shed lots of light on the stupidity of this whole way of talking.

I think two of the worst offenders are "source" and "rehome." Of course, sourcing means nothing more than getting your products. You no longer shop for food...you source your groceries - hopefully from the local farmer's market peddling other sustainable locavore foods. And rehome? Like locavore, that's not even a word. If one rehomes something, they bring it from one place to another to live. "I rehomed that stray dog." 

Why can't we talk like we used to? It was sustainable for so long. And I can't get away from it. I'm far too old to rehome.

 

 You know what pisses me off? The way television sitcoms portray their characters when they are suffering from a cold or the flu.

When I have a cold, it's little more than an inconvenience. I have to deal with the snot and the coughing or whether my sinuses will drain or not. I am 56 years old and I've had a job since I was 13 years old. In those 43 years, I have never missed a single minute of work because of a cold. I take medicine in the morning, throw a dose or two in my pocket for later in the day, and go about my business. I avoid getting too close to coworkers and just deal with my malady. On TV, people with the common cold wander aimlessly about the house, wrapped in a thick bathrobe, wearing slippers, and moaning as if someone's evil pair of hands is wringing their guts while they walk.

Flu victims are portrayed in an even more over-the-top fashion, similar to the little cartoon above. Why would one soak his or her feet? When I've had the flu in the past, probably the only parts of my body that weren't affected were my feet. If my feet get cold, I can put on socks, but I sure as hell am not going to lug around a pan of warm water from room to room. I check my temperature only once a day, if that often. I know when I have a fever - I ache all over. When joints in my body that don't normally hurt become tender and sensitive, I know something's up. I don't need to keep a running record of my temperature. I'm not a nurse making rounds in a hospital.

On TV, when a character has the flu, he or she acts as if they are inches from death's door. They are inevitably bundled up in pajamas (does anyone wear pajamas anymore?), wearing a bathrobe, wrapped in a thick blanket and carrying tissues while a thermometer dangles from their lips. They moan and groan and act as if every movement is a new adventure in agony. (If they hurt that badly, why get out of a nice warm bed?) When asked how they're feeling, the general response is some witty retort comparing how they feel with being beaten by a bag of oranges or how they would welcome death because it clearly is a better alternative than having diarrhea and a runny nose.

I know that this is done for comedic effect, but I have no patience with it. It's unnecessary, over-the-top nonsense that likely doesn't happen in anyone's house in the real world. It just pisses me off.  

You know what pisses me off? Kellogg's. Or at least the advertising agency the company hired to promote its new line of breakfast food:  Eggo Breakfast Sandwiches. I have no problem with breakfast sandwiches at all. I like them. I am a sucker for Burger King's Croissandwich and I eagerly await any sale on McDonald's Sausage and Egg McMuffins. I've even created my own versions at home to take to work. I think they're a great idea. 

But the commercial for Kellogg's newest product just pisses me off. In it,  Mom, Dad and Sis are at the breakfast table. Dad, the poor clueless schmuck, is trying to get the toaster to work. You see, if the toaster doesn't work, obviously no one in the house can eat breakfast. Apparently there are no other options for something to eat if they can't get that blasted toaster to work. Enter Kid Brother who is told right away that there is no breakfast because the toaster is on the fritz. He casually goes to the freezer, takes out a frozen breakfast delight and puts it in the microwave. Mom, Dad and Sis are so engrossed in the toaster quandary that they are oblivious to anything else going on in the room.

As the enticing scent of the sandwich ingredients fill the air, Mom, Dad and Sis become curious. They "smell sausage," "and eggs" and so on. One of them even asks how this is possible with the toaster not working. Soon Kid Brother brings his piping hot sandwich to the table and digs in - much to the surprise of his family. How, he is asked, did he make that delicious-looking sandwich without a toaster??? When he tells them it's from the microwave, Mom, Dad and Sis are stunned. And of course, they immediately reach for the steaming delight in Kid Brother's  hand, to which he replies, "Leggo my Eggo."

Why are Mom, Dad and Sis so confused as to where this food came from? Does Kid Brother do all the grocery shopping? I mean, he's only about ten years old. Is he burdened with this responsibility at such a young age? Why didn't Mom or Dad know that these frozen delights were in the freezer? Sis didn't know either. So how in the hell did the damn things get in the freezer and why is Kid Brother the only one who knows about them???

Commercials that portray adults as being this stupid while the youngest of the children is the smartest member of the family piss me off.

There is an episode of the animated series, "Family Guy" in which the title character, Peter Griffin, manages to get a spot on the evening news to complain about everyday things that bother him. His spot is called "What Really Grinds My Gears." He began each segment with, "You know what really grinds my gears?" and then he'd complain for about two minutes. While I'm certain copyright law would prohibit me from using the "Grind My Gears" heading, I would like to blog about things that bother me, because there are a lot of things that bother me. So, with that in mind, I think I'll call my posts, "You know what pisses me off?" So...

You know what pisses me off? Stay Backs. A Stay Back is a driver (and they are everywhere) is one who "stays back" at stop lights. It might be a driver who stays back from the wide white line where the rest of us stop. Sometimes these folks stay back fifteen feet or more. I've seen them so far back from the line that their vehicle isn't even close enough to trip the light to change it. And there are others who will stay in line at a red light who remain back even farther.

Why does this bother me? If the Stay Back is at the white line and I'm next to them in a different lane, I don't really care...I just marvel at the stupidity of the other guy. But if I'm behind a Stay Back, that's when I get mad. When the light turns green, we all know that there is a finite amount of time before the light turns yellow and then red again. When you add in the inevitable delayed reaction time that Stay Backs are notorious for, and the fact that cars in the lane have to cover the distance that is open due to them staying back, it's not uncommon to miss the green light and have to sit through another cycle of lights. I don't mind sitting at a light during high-volume traffic times - that's to be expected. But when I have to sit through yet another cycle of traffic lights because someone else has some bizarre aversion  to being within fifty feet of the vehicle in front of them, then yes, I have a problem.

What happened to just lining up in an orderly, considerate fashion at a red light? What happened to calmly proceeding forward when the light turns green? What can be gained by leaving up to fifty feet between stopped cars on a busy road?

Stay Backs piss me off!